• Intimacy Journeyers

    Lab

    There is no top end...

    Theory

    Upgrade Thoughtware

    Practice

    Presence Practice Teams

    Training

    5-Day Lab

  • You are an Intimacy Journeyer...

    We humans are more complex than modern culture teaches us. At a certain point in your personal growth a hunger may develop for non-superficial 5-body connections.

     

    If you keep yourself busy merely surviving there is no time or energy to explore the edges of your world and expand them. But even if you have the wish to explore, make the time to connect, and free the energy to go deeper, you may still lack the skills and distinctions. New skills, tools, and maps of the territory may also be needed...

     

    What else can happen after one says, “Hello,” to another?

     

    Presence and intimacy can only happen NOW. Who do you need to be to be more present in this NOW?

     

    Your 5 bodies are gateways to endlessly mysterious journeys. How does presence extend vertically into further possibilities? How can two people journey there together?

     

    How does intimacy depend on being centered, being radically responsible, and being connected to reality?

     

    What parts of a Being can connect?

     

    What to do with numbness, fears, and blocks? What if old wounds or traumas are triggered… what if insecurities and grief or fears arise… What then? Can these finally be healed and give way to deeper connections?

     

    Can Intimacy Journeyer skills create more resilient and dynamic Beings with a capacity for more presence together?

     

    We say yes. We claim that preparations, practices, and skill-building are keys to entering whole new domains of relational satisfaction.

     

    Pre-cognitive and non-verbal hurts may be limiting your capacity to connect and these can be transformed into intimate gateways to vast treasures. We say whole new options arise when you are met where you are and when you learn to meet others where they have heretofore been hiding out. Such skills form the basis for a lifetime of astonishing and fulfilling Intimacy Journeys.

     

    We will practice together for 5 days.

     

     

    ...and the Journey starts exactly where you are.

    When two Intimacy Journeyers see through the cloud of ordinary life, portals open to extraordinary experiences.

     

    Their archetypal bodies find a resonance and they use daring questions as the fuel for their journey.

     

    The longing is to interact, to heal the other and to be healed by the other. (Healing simply means to make things even better than they are now...) There is no limit to what can be healed during an Intimacy Journey. Most dis-eases originate in the unfulfilled longing for intimacy.

     

    Nothing needs to be wrong with either person for healing and unfolding to happen in an Intimacy Journey. In fact, both people being wonderfully fine may be the most amazing times to Journey into domains of intimacy.

     

    The longing is simply to want to be with the other more, to explore the other more. An adult human being is an infinite doorway. The longing may be to discover the other all the way – which, of course, is impossible. Yet this may still be the longing.

     

    One may not know one's own blocks to exploring the other more fully until the Intimacy Journey starts and the blocks or wounds suddenly reveal themselves.

     

    Sometimes healing occurs in the spaces between people, for example, through finding individual power to define and claim one's own place and space. There may be no physical contact at all.

     

    On other occasions the healing takes place in extended times of radical vulnerability and silent touching communication.

     

    No two journeys are the same. One moment passes into the next, inexplicably full of treasures.

     

    Consciousness if fed impressions of reciprocal nourishment when the Journeyers witness and embody more of each other than is usually possible. Transformation and healing are frequently encountered.

     

    A field of deep trust, unconditional love, groundlessness, unexpectedness, adult to adult encounter, and co-creative five-body nourishment becomes the basis of a life of blazing splendor.

     

    A successful journey is more than satisfying. It can bring back life features that are blocked by the local belief systems and assumptions built into the morphogenetic field. These treasures become available to all who are in the space. Lives and perspectives become more compassionate and inclusive.

     

    The skills you build, the healings that happen for you and others, these last you the rest of your life. They open doors for whole new life-chapters to blossom and become viable.

  • Intimacy Journeyer Theory

    Your mind is yours to play around with and make into whatever you want.

    The thoughtware you are currently using may not be ideal for creating what you want to create.

    Map of 5 Bodies

    Your main vehicle for Presence Journeys is your 5th body, your Archetypal Body. Some call it your Ecstatic Body...

    Map of Resentments

    One resentment is enough to block intimacy. Learning how you create resentments is key to taking your resentments apart.

    Map of Laws

    You can bring back jewels, but the higher up the elevator you go, the more strictly the laws apply.

    Map of 3 Domains of Love

    Not choosing where you want to go right now assures that is exactly where you will get to.

    Map Me Myself and I

    Which "I" is talking? Which "I" is navigating now? Which "I" is speaking and feeling right now?

  • Intimacy Journeyer Practice

    Regular Intimacy Team meetings provide a safe place for questions and experiments.

    Weekly Intimacy Journeyer Team

    Gathering once a week to exchange experiences, and practice with feedback and coaching expands your practical skills for exciting Intimacy Journeys in your daily life.

  • Conscious Intention

    You create - or hesitate to create - from intention. What is your actual purpose? Who are you kidding about that? Results don't lie. By helping each other bring awareness to our shadow purposes we get new options to choose from about what we are creating in each moment.

    Conscious Attention

    Where your attention goes, your energy flows. Your central skill for navigating Intimacy Journeys is your attention. Can you place it? Move it? Hold it? Keep it? Split it? No one can get your attention unless you give it to them. What are you doing with your attention now? Why?

    Presence of Being

    A big "HERE" or a big "NOW" or a big "ME" dilutes your connection to tiniest present moment needed for navigating your Intimacy Journey. With a little practice you can build your presencing muscles and expand your capacity for enduring the unbearable lightness of Being.

    Nonlinear Possibility

    Relationships thrive on ongoing nonlinear creation. But the source of nonlinear possibility is your Gremlin. Have you initiated a conscious relationship with your Gremlin? Is he kneeling at your side as an ally? Or is your Gremlin still unconsciously destroying intimacy and serving shadow principles?

  • New Maps of the World

    Human beings do not interact with the world as it is. We interact through our thoughtmaps of the world. When you get a new thoughtmap you get a new world. Intimacy is delicate, precise, complex, and precious. No space of shared intimacy lasts forever... this means there are untold numbers of incredible spaces waiting to be explored when you have the new maps and skills.

    Centered and Grounded

    Being present is the key to radically responsible intimacy. But being present is dependent on an entire circle of interdepending skills: being centered, being grounded, having a cleansed bubble of personal space, using the New Thoughtmap of Feelings, having a minimized 'NOW', a minimized 'HERE' and a minimized 'I', being responsible for the purpose of the stories you tell, having your Gremlin on a short leash at your side, using your Voice Blaster, knowing the difference between Feelings and the three kinds of Emotions, experientially distinguishing between your Box and your Being, and between Low Drama and High Drama, residing in experiential reality rather than being trapped in verbal reality, etc. Each distinction is a fabulous gateway to being more centered and grounded.

    Improvisation

    Magic is authentic when it is extemporaneous, that is, when it has never been done before. The word 'abrakadebra' means "I create as I speak." Telling stories that you have never told before in relationship with someone else is called improvising. The key to joyous and powerful improvising is 'Being a Yes!' to what the other person creates. "Yes... and..." can be the doorway to whole new territories of shared intimacy.

    Vulnerability

    It is easy to forget that today is a good day to die... and... you can develop some new skills. That is what the Intimacy Journeyer Intensive Skill-Building Training is about. Stepping to the edge of your comfort zone, staying present, consciously taking little intimate steps one-after-the-other into the unknown, where all you have is your attention and your wits for safely creating what has never been created before and exploring it together.

  • Intimacy Journeyer Hints

    ...an excerpt from the forthcoming book: Naked Without A Plan

     


     

    20 HINTS FOR NEGOTIATING

    5-BODY INTIMACIES

    Negotiating 5-Body Intimacies is a Winning Happening game because there are no winners or losers. The game is infinite because is it played for the purpose of keeping the game going. Here are some practical hints for giving 5-body intimacy journeys more dynamism and fulfillment.

     

    HINT 1: Intimacy is negotiated when you make proposals or offers and the other person decides either to go along with you, or responds with a “Yes, and…”, and offers new and upscaled proposals and offers. Practice being a ‘yes’ and responding with “Yes, and…”

     

    HINT 2: Unconscious intimacy negotiations happen very quickly. To make them conscious decrease the speed of your negotiations 100 times slower.

     

    HINT 3: Make no assumptions. Inquire into all motivations. Make the time and space and interest to look into the dark places. Exploring the unconsciousness shadows takes courage. Find the courage. Move gently but deliberately. There is so much to see and learn about.

     

    HINT 4: Radically trust your speaking before you think so that the mind does not get to do all the speaking. Whenyou speak before you think it may feel strange at first because your mind does not know what you will say next. This makes life less boring. When you let other bodies speak besides your intellect they use a different pace and a different vocabulary to negotiate for their wishes and needs. By doing this you take the risk to reveal with radical honesty your actual inner conditions. Particularly let something else speak besides your mind.

     

    HINT 5: Pause. Stay in ‘pause’ mode. Check in with yourself to accurately notice what you want, what your limits are, what each of your bodies is inspired to give or hungry to receive. It need not be a 90% intense desperate need before you fulfill it. You have many 7% intense wishes that you could generously care for.

     

    HINT 6: Do not make fake proposals. Be sincerely committed to your offers. Not long ago I made an offer to a woman, “Let’s go to Bali for a month together.” She said, “Okay.” So we went to Bali for a month together. Make extraordinary offers, and then if they are accepted, make them come true. This makes life extraordinary.

     

    HINT 7: When you make an offer and it is rejected, learn to energetically and emotionally accept a “No” as fully and gently as a “Yes”, understanding that knowing accurately what a person truly wants and truly does not want is intimacy. Once a “No” is fully and respectfully accepted as a boundary and a decision, it is completed, and a new situation emerges in which something completely different can emerge.

     

    HINT 8: When you make an offer, do the work to be very clear in yourself about what in you is doing the ‘wanting.’ (A small personal feedback and coaching team can be very useful for this.) The wanting in you might come from your mother, a religion, society, a fantasy world, your Box, your Gremlin, your habits, your assumptions, etc. It is remarkably unsatisfying to fulfil the wants of others assuming that they are yours.

     

    HINT 9: Navigating to the PRESENT includes navigating to a small NOW and a small HERE, as well as a small YOU. A small YOU leaves behind childhood emotional baggage and assumed obligations from external authorities.

     

    HINT 10: Investigate your current circumstances in the tiniest detail together. Navigate to consent in CURRENT reality before making any additional moves. Magic is created in the present by making use of the tiniest insignificant details of current reality.

     

    HINT 11: Doing what someone does not truly want you to do (such as expressing your opinion when another person does not want to hear it) is rape. When someone is raped they must shut down from you and protect themselves from you. Intimacy after any form of rape is nearly impossible. Rebuilding trustworthiness includes taking apart resentment (which feels like dying) and rebuilding a completely new foundation for connection.

     

    HINT 12: The space determines what is possible. If something is not possible in one space, then use nonlinear questions to navigate to another space in which something else is possible. In the Great Labyrinth of Spaces, every space is connected to every other space. This means you can get to anywhere from here.

     

    HINT 13: Woman is a gateway. She is not just a body with a smile and smooth skin. A woman is a gateway to the archetypal feminine, the healing place for men. The archetypal does not become visible or accessible except through the adult state where you are yourself and have your own feelings and your own voice in the present. If you approach intimacy from the scared, needy, adaptive child state, or the manipulative critical or praising parent state, or the Gremlin state, the gateway to the archetypal feminine will not open. Learn to establish your creations in the adult state.

     

    HINT 14: By placing your attention on your attention and telling another person what you aware of that you are aware of, you enter the waking state. The waking state is a meta-awareness, where you perceive more possibilities from softer eyes and deeper understanding and presence. The waking state is also useful for splitting your attention in multiple directions and managing your split attentions more deftly.

     

    HINT 15: An adult woman wakes up when an adult man puts his undivided attention on her. A woman wants to wake up because when she is awake she experiences more life, more power, more wonder, and more magic. This is why what a woman wants is a man’s attention. If the man’s attention wanders then the space of intimacy is lost. An intimate space does not arise by itself. It arises out of intention. Use your intention to navigate your attention. Women wake up when they are seen. Men wake up when they are heard.

     

    HINT 16: Intimacy does not arise from trusting another person. Intimacy arises through learning to trust yourself to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself around other people. This may involve learning to make effective boundaries by saying “No!” and “Stop!”, becoming less naïve, learning to experience and express your own feelings, differentiating your feelings from your emotions, exploring your Gremlin’s underworld, your shadow purposes, your hidden competing commitments, and learning to make effective distinctions. Distinctions are more powerful than boundaries. Being more intimate with yourself makes it possible to be more effectively intimate with others.

     

    HINT 17: The more committed you are to giving treasures away the more treasures the Universe gives you. But how can you commit to using a treasure when you can’t know beforehand what the treasure might be? If you were the Universe would you open your treasures to someone who was not already committed to using them well? No way! Getting access to the treasures of intimacy requires committing to giving the treasures away before you know how to do it.

     

    HINT 18: Not everyone is happy all the time. There are four feelings, and often mixed emotions. How should you handle being intimate if you or the other person are feeling despair, hopelessness, jealousy, shame, anger, grief, etc.? This may not be a pretty sight, but it is what is in the moment. The key to intimacy is accepting and fully being present with what is so without judgement, without attaching interpretations or making assumptions or coming to conclusions. Can you also appreciate and be grateful for neutrally connecting with these scary or unpleasant manifestations as true intimacy?

     

    HINT 19: When an egg and sperm come together you become one cell. Then you divide, and divide again. The cells of your body are ongoingly experiencing radical intimacy with each other. Even when you are thinking there is no intimacy, your cells are ongoingly celebrating life. Nothing is more intimate and joyful as this! Intimacies are happening throughout your body even now. Noticing them is a matter of refining your experiential distinctions.


    HINT 20: (I am sure there are more hints…)